Words can hurt

In life, I’m sure we all encounter incredibly mean and stupid haters.
And just like you, I have encountered quite a number of them. I guess, it is human nature in a way to judge the people around us, which I completely understand. But what I completely do not understand is when people hate someone based on their ‘judgement’ ..and then use their words/actions to hurt another person. That sickens me.

Black Milk Not Impressed Bunny dress, Boyfriend's Shirt plus other ..accessories ♥

Now don’t get me wrong, when it’s fun and games between friends, it’s all cool.
But when it’s a complete attack on one person to another, and someone feels victimized ..it’s not on.

Let’s explain this a bit further, shall we? So, say you saw the picture I posted above without knowing me.
What are your first thoughts? She’s a TB? She’s seeking attention? She dyes her hair red, she must hate being Asian? Those thoughts are all completely fine upon first look, I would say. But, what makes it wrong is when you act on those actions. Leaving nasty comments that could hurt another is disgusting, in my honest opinion. Behind the anonymous mask, you may not think that your words mean anything but on the receiving end, it does hurt. I say this out of experience.

Random Info: This is my new hair guise! It's shorter and has been dyed red ;)

Now, firstly, if you know me, you would know I don’t usually look like this.
But even if I did, there shouldn’t be a problem with it. Right? I constantly see people commenting on a way someone is dressed, that they shouldn’t wear a particular set of item because they don’t look ‘attractive in it’. I think that is complete  stupidity; people should be able to dress however they want (within all laws and regulations hah).

Back to the point, words may not seem like much, but they are.
And trust me when I say, they can lead to terrible things. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is to someone. Don’t be the push that someone may need to take that step further to take a life – their own or even someone else’s. In fact I recommend that everyone should watch Cyberbully. It may seem over dramatized, but it does happen.

Have you been bullied before?

I’ve been bullied countless times online and in real life.
Also, these photos were taken for Joani‘s Black Milk “Kawaii Challenge” which isn’t up yet!

Edit: I just want to add that I haven’t been cyberbullied recently but thank you to all those who seemed concerned! I just wanted to bring awareness to cyberbullying as I don’t think it should be something to overlook :)

35 comments to Words can hurt

  • You’re such a TB… Whatever that is. Now you can bully me for my lacking vocabulary. :D

    Anywho, bullying is not nice, kids. Don’t do it. Be it cyber or the kind that took place in pre-internet times (I’m old). I guess there’ll always be people who find pleasure in making fun of someone else for whatever reason available. My advice would be to just not give a **** and carry on being yourself. Sure, you’ll be facing some lonely years, but in time that’ll change, I promise. I know it did for me.

    (also Mel, totally off-topic, but I love your red hair!)

    • melludee

      Ahah you adorable person, you <3 !
      Tb = Teeny bopper .. but um, it’s actually kind of hard to explain what it is. But it’s not a compliment, that’s for sure :P ! And ee, I tend to ignore these people too but it’s sad when there are people who can’t ignore it. And those are the kids who suffer the most :(

      Also, thank you! :D

  • I agree with you, you cannot just post hurtful comments. People should indeed be able to dress, color their hair etc. how they want to. I think many people don’t realize that. They just post something and shut their computer and don’t care and that other person feels terrible. Words can hurt indeed. I didn’t experience cyber bullying but I know how it feels in real life..

    I like this post, because it shows that you are above them ;) always be yourself and try to ignore those haters! (they don’t deserve attention)

    Hugs :)
    -Dewi

    • melludee

      Yes, hiding behind the computer screen gives bullies confidence :/
      But ahuh, I’m just trying to reach out to people who feel isolated and alone, I guess. Hopefully this post will help someone out there!

  • those are just you’re haters, they are just insecure because they see their ideal look on you which they don’t have.. hehe! so, don’t mind them. they’re just the nonsense people :)

    check out my blog and follow me if you like
    i’ll follow you ^___^

    http://cupofpinktea.blogspot.com

    • melludee

      Aha thank you for your kind comment :)
      I’m just concerned for other people out there who suffer from constant bullying and may snap any day :(

  • Katie

    I got bullied a lot at school, so I know how it is, but I am old enough (24) these days to know that bullies, cyber or otherwise, are just sad people and should be ignored! And when I first saw those pics, I was like “OH MY GOD, SO CUUUUTE <3" Love your new hair <3

    Kitty x

    • melludee

      Aha thank you !!
      Ah yes, ignoring bullies is always good but I think the topic needs to be spoken about too – for the kids out there who can’t deal with it on their own :(

  • I dislikeeeee bullies very much :(
    Although I don’t recall really ever being cyberbullied, I have friends who have been and it is very sad..
    Although I will admit, those pics look kinda tb-ish, I find nothing wrong with that. It’s very cute ! And people shouldn’t be told they shouldn’t wear ‘this’ or ‘that’ if they don’t look attractive in it..I agree that is complete stupidity to say things like that.

    If people are saying hurtful things to you, they’re not worth your time. They honestly have nothing better to do if they’re going to send you unkind comments.

    I think red hair really suits you by the way ! You pull it off very well ! :D
    x

    • melludee

      Thank you lovee! <3
      Bullies definitely aren’t worth our time; but other kids are, I think. Even though ignoring them is the best method, I think bringing awareness to the fact that there are bullies out there will help other kids go through it!

  • yup i know how that feels = =
    especially when i was in high school.. i used to dress a few years ago, like a total harajuku wannabe lol. (Lots of clips in hair etc and colorful mismatching clothes) I just dont understand why people can’t leave the other person alone and do what they do best? being theirselves.

    Even tho my hair looks totally weird here.. i haven’t heard any mean comments.. yet. o__o” Well ofcourse bitchy stares but i rather have that then rude people who say things out loud – – i’m just lucky i guess – –
    or a master in totally avoiding everyone with having my music with me all the time xDDD

    Aniwoo. F@CK these haters! they are all jelous. And wish to be as awesome as you are! <3

    and btw I LOVE YOUR RED HAAAAIRRRR <3

    • melludee

      Ahh yess! People have the stupidity to nitpick on what we wear despite it not even concerning them!
      Eesh, I used to be picked on by my own siblings just because I like certain things and dress a certain way. Ugh. So idiotic :( They would even say I look stupid when I wear different coloured contacts – what the hell!? And yess, I would rather bitchy stares too :| I know they might not like the same things I do, but they should have at least have the decency not to voice it out.

      Thank youu! Your hair is far more awesome ;D

  • There are so many things like cyber bullying and people do it because they are able to stay anonymous. I haven’t encountered anything yet, but I’m sure there is bound to be some sort that I will receive. I am actually expecting it which makes it so sad as well.

    Well, I think you are adorable and I love your hair, you’ve also cut your mermaid long hair!! You are entitled to your own wants, thoughts and opinions so continue doing what you want with disregard to those who go low.

    • melludee

      It is sad that we have to expect it :(
      Even now, I’m still waiting to get the notification of a hater comment on this post haha.

      Also yesss, my long hair is goneeee! (so much freedom now :P)

  • I haven’t really been bullied seriously before but I was bullied before. I didn’t let it get to me because it didn’t really happen often, only that one time.

    To be honest, I never thought those thoughts about you when I first saw you. When I first saw you I was like, THIS GIRL. IS. GORGEOUS. and ended up stalking you for a couple hours …. but aside from that, I don’t think your look applies hating being asian because lots of asians dye their hair. Everyone dyes their hair nowadays, no matter what race. That doesn’t mean they hate their race.

    If there are people that bully you or someone else about looking the way they do, it’s cause they’re jealous. I can’t think of another reason other than being jealous and perhaps bored with their boring life. Bullying is bad but sometimes it does make you stronger I guess. However it could also go the other way and lead to self harm. :/

    • melludee

      ASfaksfhasfk- ♥!!
      Well, I do think you are just super sweet and I am sure that no one else thinks the way you do haha! /glomps
      But um yes, thankfully, there isn’t anyone bullying me at the moment but I just wanted to bring awareness to the topic, I guess. Everyone says to ignore it, which is of course an excellent choice, but I’m afraid that if we don’t say something, the kids who can’t ignore it will suffer :( I think knowing that someone else has gone through it helps you go through it yourself mm? Well, at least that’s what I think. So, hoping that this post will help someone out there! Maybe even make a bully second guess their actions !

  • What a thoughtful blog ^-^ I can’t help but feel if anyone has bullied you it would be out of jealousy. Cute pictures btw :)

  • you look so cute, ignore those people even though its hard too, i’ve neve erheard of dying hair = self hating race, i lvoe the dress, but black milk isn’t in my price range :( i’ve been bullied but becuase of my race not because of the way i dress, sure i get some rude people, but hey be the bigger man right? also i think it’s really thoughful of you to raise the warning that bullying isn’t an innocent thing that people ‘get over’, at the time and place it could really push people over the edge.

    • melludee

      Ahh thank you Naka <3!
      And mm, I’ve been bullied because of my race too. Everyone reacts differently to bullying, so I’m hoping that this post will help people understand that it isn’t just fun and games for everyone!

  • Words really do hurt, sometimes in the way they say it too. I think that even when friends goof off and make fun of each other it can still hurt. Sarcasim is still contains an ounce of truth or something like that. And I know someone who over thinks those things a lot and I know I do too.
    I watched cyberbully and I cried so much and felt awful for her. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed bully-ing, but I remember reading a statistic that bystanders actually have a high percentage that they can do something about it.

    • melludee

      Yes :'( I cried during the movie too!
      I feel terrible sometimes, because I’m sure I’ve been a bystander many times before! But it is hard to stand up to these kind of things :/ Let’s just hope that for any kids who are suffering from this at the moment will be able to get through it !

  • People who bully others are just insecure about themself, or just really bored and wants to troll. Poor you Melody!!! :( I disabled the “Anonymous” option in my comment section to avoid mean comments.
    If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all! Bambi taught me that. ♥ ♥ ♥

    • melludee

      Bambiiiiiiiii! ♥
      Thankfully I have no hater comments at the moment, but it is a good thing to talk about! And yess, I always live by the ‘don’t say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say’ eesh!

  • aww I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been bullied before Melody. you seem like such a sweet and cute person and it really saddens me when this happens to people who totally don’t deserve it. Personally I haven’t experienced harsh criticism or unkind words/behaviour directed at me to the extent that I would consider it bullying- but it has happened to people very, very close to me and I think it’s disgusting. it’s so cliched but it’s true- people who do this sort of stuff are very insecure about themselves so they can feel superior. people who do it in groups also love feeling like they’re part of something when they gang up on someone.
    the worst is cyber bullying because it brings out a different, more cowardly breed of bullies in my opinion- people who desperately WANT to put others down but have always been too afraid of backlash. to me those cyber bullies can only be laughed at because it’s so obvious in real life they’d be terrified if confronted.
    stay strong! :) <333

    • melludee

      Thank you ♥ !
      Thankfully those comments were quite awhile ago, and I’m hoping you don’t ever have to experience something like that! Eep. But yes, cyber bullying seems so much more appealing just because of the anonymity mask they hide behind eesh. They need to learn it ain’t all fun and games!

  • It’s kinda sad but the first thing coming to my mind was: “Anybody who hadn’t been bullied?” It’s like everybody experienced situations when he feels bullied – doesn’t matter if that’s the intention or not.
    It surprised me, that some people seem to accept ‘criticsm’ from me, well ‘better’ in a way, because I’m an honest person. If someone looks particularly nice one day or wears something I would wear, too, I’m saying exactly what comes to my mind. On the other hand if someone asks me, what I’m thinking about a certain outfit and I don’t like it I admit that, too.
    But I love people being different in their opinions and styles. It’s inspiring seeing so many outfits with variants and I think everybody’s able to ‘learn’ from others.
    Imagine how boring it would be if we were all the same…

    • melludee

      That’s true :(
      It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t been bullied nowadays eh.
      And I’m sure people take your opinion better because they know you mean no mean intent! Just simply stating your opinion! And yes yes yes, I think the world would be incredibly boring if everyone looked the same :|

  • melludee

    I’m glad that it wasn’t extreme baby!
    And yes, you are very biased and your opinion doesn’t count :P ehe

  • Sue

    :( I guess as bloggers it’s something we risk, every time we post! Fortunately I haven’t really encountered any nasty comments yet (but I’m still relatively new to blogging) but I’m super emotional and I can imagine myself being affected by a negative comment :( I think those people are just weak, leaving anonymous comments. What does that even do? Like does it make them feel superior? Don’t worry Melody – you look great and your hair looks fab!!!

  • ha. I don’t know what TB is either but yeah~ being online is always a risk of being bullied. Sometimes I see people leaving nasty comments to celebrities or other pretty famous online people & I feel so bad for them. I really don’t like people who “judge” so quickly. Being an Asian myself, I especially hate it when people say we “ asians” try to be “white” or whatever because of hair color or contact lenses. Like seriously, what’s so good about being “white”? ( not that I’m against them or anything, but we never say “ white” wants to be asian because they dye their hair black or tan their skin) I just feel the “ white” people who think we want to be “ white” must be so conceited. ( For the rest of them, who don’t think that way, they’re cool. lol)

    Ignore the haters ! They’re not worth our time.

    xoxo HitomiNeko xoxo
    hitomineko-hn.blogspot.com

  • It pains me to hear and witness either on-line or in everyday life, people being intimidated or bullied. I agree with Bambiprinzessin, everyone has been on the receiving end of bullying in some sort of shape or form. Sorry to hear you have encountered bullying, it usually stems from the bullies insecurities or jealousy. Worst of all it’s a shame that in most cases it’s females. I never understood why we women can’t encourage each other instead of being dog eat dog.

    ” that they shouldn’t wear a particular set of item because they don’t look ‘attractive in it’. I think that is complete stupidity; people should be able to dress however they want ” I 100% concur with this statement!

    xx

  • Min

    Although it’s hard to ignore/forget those comments, IGNORE THEM!! You’re beautiful in our eyes and never change for someone else cos that’s just not you, not the Melody we know <333 It's so bad to judge someone based on looks or their perception of who you are before really getting to know you. If only you could befriend all those haters, I'm sure they'd think differently after knowing you :)

    PS Mum just passed me a packet of Kleenex LOL she said it was from ages ago but forgot all about it cos we moved houses! THANKS MEL <3

  • rob

    That sucks you had people saying mean stuff. I do understand that it can be hurtful. However at the same time I do think people have to be free to say whatever they like. Otherwise we start down a slippery slope of who decides what anyone is allowed to say or not. I personally am willing to accept that people might say things I don’t like or are even hurtful in exchange for greater personal freedom for all. When I was growing up in the 70’s and 80’s there was a common saying that all mom’s told their kids (I’m sure you have probably heard)and it goes like this:

    Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.

    OK so this is easier said than done I know… but IMHO it’s the best way to go. Just don’t worry about what people say. It’s just words and they really can’t touch you unless you let them. You can never fully control what other people do so better to strengthen yourself. You look like a pretty strong person mentally so I know you have nothing to fear from any bully be they cyber or real.

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