Do Not Judge A Book By It’s Cover

I don’t usually rant on this blog but I feel like this is necessary.
Why? I don’t know. Probably because this could apply to anyone and everyone. You’ve all heard me write about these type of things before, “Do Not Judge” or something similar. And it’s something really important to me.


Disclaimer: Everything mentioned here may or may not be based on past experiences.

I find it really hard to be friends with people who judge.
I understand that everyone has their own opinion on things, but must you treat someone based on simply their appearance or choices? Is it so hard to accept that people may not want to dress the same way as you, or they may not like the same things as you do? I mean, who are you to judge others based on their personal preferences?  And it’s horrible when you’re basing your hatred on what someone else said about the individual. Who are you to say you hate me just because so-so said I did a specific thing? How do you even know if it’s true? You don’t. Unless you were there, feeling the same emotions and seeing every single thing; you will never know. And basing your view on one side of the story is just plain ignorant. But then again, why should I even bother explaining myself to you?

And the worst part of it all is when people “hate” someone they have never even met or spoken to.
It’s pretty ridiculous, right? Yet, it happens all the time. People look at a display photo of someone on their Facebook etc and immediately go, “I don’t like them.” And what is their reason? “They look like a bitch” or “They look like a weirdo” – It’s quite stupid, isn’t it? Judging someone they have never even met before. Just because I like make up doesn’t make me “fake”. Just because I like cosplay doesn’t make me a “freak”. Just because I do a peace-signs in photo, doesn’t make me a “tb”.

Of course, saying “do not judge” is easier said than done, right?
Some of us immediately have opinions on someone as soon as you look at them. Myself, included. But the difference is what you do with that opinion. Do you share it around and voice your opinion? Do you act directly upon that opinion? Immediately hate them with everything you got? Or do you just take it in to consideration and wait to see if your judgement is true or false?

I am who I am
And I’m not going to stop being who I am just because you don’t like it.

“You can take the one thing I have left, beat me down to the ground and take my breath; but you can’t take who I am”
(The One Thing I have left – Hawk Nelson)

52 comments to Do Not Judge A Book By It’s Cover

  • Vu

    It really is stupid when people are so quick to jump the gun when it comes to judging someone without knowing anything about them. I don’t understand how it can be so hard to just think for once, has that person done anything wrong to you? or wrong at all?

    Good post sweetheart, I hope this helps people take a second thought before judging someone based on something that may or may not be true.

    <3

    • melludee

      Thanks babyy ♥
      It’s true though. I don’t understand why people feel the need to criticize someone or judge someone loosely based on rumours or what not. It just makes me them look like idiots in the end.

  • I so agree on that and you really spoke how I feel as well. :D
    We can’t always be the person that our friends or maybe other people want us to be, the best that we can do is be ourselves and love ourselves! Show our best and tell people that we still can do things without looks but the most important is the inner beauty that we have in us! :D
    -bubbly-

    • melludee

      Ahh, I’m glad you relate to this!
      Yes, we should always love and care for ourselves. Never ever change yourself for the sake of someone else if it’s going to make you unhappy! (:

  • …true words!
    I’m a pretty fast judging person myself…but…I do give those persons a chance to change my mind! I never say ‘I hate someone’, of course I don’t like anybody out there..(oh hell no, haha) but I don’t hate around like some people do, even in public, wtf.
    People judge me very fast because of my appereance. I experience this almost every day. It’s…amusing.

    • melludee

      Ahh, yes. I experience it quite often too :/
      Even from my closet of friends ! Aha. But mmm, I understand what you mean though. I can be quick to judge, but that doesn’t mean I would “hate” that person forever without giving them a chance to show that they’re not actually the way that I originally thought. But mm, I hope you keep your chin up and take those judgemental losers head on >:D ! Cos you’re amazing ! xo

  • That is so true… I wonder sometimes if people hate me for dub reasons! But you know, you gotta just keep your head high and think “the are merely jealous”.
    We can’t satisfy everybody, so screw the people that can’t hack how we dress and act!!! SCREW THEM :DDD
    Love you Melody ~

    • melludee

      Ahh <3 Love you wayyy moree Gerrypie!
      And truee. They’re the ignorant ones who loosely base their hatred on something they don’t even know pshh! Screw themm ;P

  • It’s not nice when people refuse to look past their preconceived opinions on people, huh?
    I suppose that if they’re not going to give you the time of day, then there’s no reason for you to either. Their loss, really!
    Hopefully people will learn to be just a little more open-minded to things out of their ordinary~

    • melludee

      Ahh /hugsyou/ !
      You’re completely correct! I seriously don’t see why I should bother even trying to be friends with such people. But ah, the world is filled with them~

  • Miyayosh

    Hey Melody! I really love this blog post because I think it is completely true. I am happy that you can help set an example for others and more people should read this!
    <3
    ~~~Miya

  • What a coincidence! I wrote something similar just last night on my Tumblr blog. It’s in human nature that people are quick to judge. They are quick to categorize individuals in places that they probably don’t even belong in. In this society where the internet is free to use and easy to access, it seems that cyber bullying is an okay thing to do.

    Just the other day my boyfriend was getting anonymous comments about his site and judging him right off the back about something he blogged about. It’s really unfortunate that the majority of the people who do this to others are doing it because they are envious or just bored.

    Don’t worry about those who are like that. I, too, have issues befriending individuals who are judgmental and voice out their opinions like that. I love your blog and I followed it because you blog for the purpose of blogging. You are yourself, which makes your blog ever so more real.

    Keep your head up, love! <3

    • melludee

      Ah this comment made me smile heaps ♥
      Thank you thank you. Cyber bullying is absolutely horrible and I’ve had it happen to me quite a number of times. But I guess, who the hell is anonymous anyway? They’re the ones too afraid to show themselves to anyone! Mmhmm. I hope the ones attacking your boyfriend stop soon, because I don’t think anyone deserves such hate thrown at them. And again, thank you for comment ♥ ♥

  • Tam

    WOW Melody blonde suits you! You are the second girl that I’ve seen looks nice with blonde hair and you know how I feel about blondes :P. A lot of the people I know are very judgemental and it’s funny because I used to be what you described up there when I was in high school. I’m still too quick to judge nowadays though like if I see a scraggy guy that resemble a junkie I’d stay away from him on the train, which is unfair because he might had a really bad day hence he looked like that. I only have two friends that I feel comfortable around and almost always paranoid when I go out. That’s why it was so relaxing in Sydney because I knew no one there and if I did something stupid I don’t have to worry someone caught me and start judging. Wished I was somewhere else at the moment. Oh and I hate retail people who give me bitchy stares when I’m wearing casual clothes and walk into a fancy store. WOW I think I just wrote a blog entry in your comment section. Sorry!
    P.S you look good as a blonde. wow! :)

    • melludee

      Naww Tam you cutie!
      I love long comments so it’s all good ♥ ! Firstly, thank youu but loool, I wouldn’t be blonde anyway :( Hehe. And ahh, I understand how you feel though. I get really paranoid sometimes to do things or go out because I’m afraid people are judging me for whatever I’m doing. And I guess the scruffy guy on the train isn’t as bad, maybe? I guess I think those things are alright since it’s better to be safe than sorry ;-; /don’twantyoutogetraped/ And eurgh, I hate those store people who think they’re all top just cos they’re working at like Chanel or something :/

  • wonderful post =)
    I’m judge by other people mostly because of the way I dress all the time, I don’t get it. We all dress different, so why hate me just because I dress a tad more different than the majoritiy?
    I won’t lie, I’m also judging people by their appaerance but who doesn’t? The difference is, I don’t need to display my judgement and I always try to get in touch with other people to see if my first impression of them was right.
    I wis people would be more open minded, just for the sake of everybody.
    Thanks for this post melody, you have such a good heart.

    • melludee

      Exactly! Everyone judges automatically but it’s really what we do with it that makes the difference. I don’t understand why people must hate based according to our appearances and such! Sigh. But I’m glad that you relate to this post <3 !

  • Kim

    true, some ppl just act like a judge without a robe, for them first impressions are huge and I hate those kind of ppl that rushing to judgment n said hurful things without even knowing about us. I’m sure they’ll learn their own lesson! rushing to judgment too often leads straight to the wrong consclusion, and just think of all those interesting ppl they’ll never get to know~

    just like avril said “I AM WHO I AM AND WHO I WANNA BE”
    agree?~

    • melludee

      Definitely agree !!
      They will learn sooner or later :/ I mean, I’m sure they don’t like it when others judge them too ! Eesh.

  • *applause* Sadly enough these words need to keep being said because people just don’t get it. I do know for a fact that by default I do look at someone and end up judging them in my head. Though, never will I confront them and ridicule them or avoid them and I never will assume that their inadequate
    or you know “less human”. Its funny cause when you notice how someone is COMPLETELY different from your expectations you tend to be surprised, and you feel a little bad because you find out how nice or awesome they are.

    I never understood the anon hate and girl I never understand why people will are convinced of someone without getting to know them or understand where they come from. This topic needed to be brought to light and girl it doesn’t matter how many times its said, IT NEEDS TO BE SAID.

    By the way, your wig looks phenomenal on you! ;-; Please wear blonde more often! <3

    • melludee

      THANK YOU BABEEE ♥
      But eeek yes! We can’t help judging someone but I hate the people who take this judgement and bring it out with hate and malicious intent eurgh. I love it when I see that the person is completely different from what I expected them to be !! It makes me happy and go “Ah~ I’m sorry for thinking like that n_n!” Aha. And yesss, people need to get this in to their thick skulls blerghh! They’re so silly ! And thanks loveeee, you’re heaps heaps kind ! *hugs

  • Sweets, just be whoever you want to be. As long as you feel good, no one should care about whether you like cosplay, or whether you like wearing this or that, or use makeup, or look a certain way. (just a sidenote: I’ve always thought you looked good in everything you wear ^_~)
    People are way too judgemental, but no one likes to be the one who’s being judged.

    While reading this post, I had to think of one of Bubzbeauty’s inspirational vlogs, where she also talks about how people judge others based on appearances. I really like posts like this.

    • melludee

      (You’re way too kind and Imma love you forever ♥ !)
      Mmm. It’s true ! I absolutely hate it when people judge me based on what I like or what I find fun; it means nothing to them so why bother! I’ll be whatever I want to be :) xo

  • ahhhh~ I agree with what you say so much!! >< I don't like it when people judge someone just based on their picture… A picture just captures a second of what that person is like. It doesn't capture their whole life and how they act towards people, even if someone may look like a b*tch in their picture, they might only LOOK like one, but they really aren't! People put too much importance on looks nowadays ): I wish everyone can just wear a paper bag over their head and everyone can judge based on their personality & kindness ^^ hahaha~ but then that would scare me with all the paper bags…

    You look super cute with blonde hair!!~ ^^ I like! (:

    • melludee

      Ahaha you’re so cute! xP
      Putting a paper bag over people’s head would definitely work but yes, it would then kind of ..be kind of creepy :P teheheh. And ack yes, I don’t get why looks is so important nowdays ! Whatever happened to personality and such ;A;

  • I just couldn’t have said it any better!

      • On a “side note”; I fully agree with someone else who commented that you have a great heart! Even though I never have met you in person, I think you one’s best friend they can have.

        (And on another side note; I love the tights on the left, where did you get them?)

        • melludee

          Ahh thank youu! But I do believe that my readers are just way too kind <3
          And ! I got the tights on the left from romwe.com :D Go check it out ! Their tights are awesomeawesome!

  • I totally agree with you Melody. just be who you are.. ♥ Most of the people who hate others are just jealous and those are usually the people who will spread bad things around.

  • I think it’s so dumb how ppl can judge others or make assumptions about someone from just appearances as well. But often times these ppl pass judgment just to make themselves feel a little better. I think if society didn’t put so much emphasis on appearance and conformity to the social norms, then ppl wouldn’t feel the need to judge others so quickly.

    • melludee

      I agree!
      I guess the society and age that we live in focuses heavily on outer appearance so much that people are blinded by such, and feel like someone should be based on only how they look. Eeek.

  • I totally agree because it’s so true, and I hate it when some people call me ‘tb’ when im not even one but like a ‘tb’ o-o; fail
    you summed it up perfectly :)

    • melludee

      I knoww wtf!
      These people don’t even know the definition of tb :| it’s just cos we like Asian fashion better than their stupid jeans + t-shirt :|

  • That’s so true =O Lol recently had an experience about that – it wasn’t cool. At least everything worked out in the end.

  • AW, Melody. This is such an amazing post. YOu strike me as such a genuinely kind and good person – I love it.

    And I COMPLETELY agree with you. This was the reason why I hated high school. Everyone conformed to these cliques and didn’t bother trying to even be friendly with other people because they assumed they were “stupid” or “nerdy” or whatever the case. It’s so stupid. Everybody can and should get along! We’re all fundamentally the same and can at least get along on a basic level, if we tried. But we judge others and don’t even try to see past what they’re wearing, how they act, etc etc. SILLY PEOPLE THESE DAYS.

    Great post!

    QUIRKYEXPLOSION.blogspot.com

    • melludee

      Thanks Lexypieee! ♥
      And eeesh, yeah – high school has all those weird cliques and such blahhh. It’s even worse when people try to do the same outside of high school >:| ! Just cos my tights are like bright blue doesn’t mean ANYTHING ;A; ! loooool <3

  • Awww, I’ve definitely missed seeing your face! :$ Look at how cute you are!!!! n_n hehe!

    And as if you need to buy more makeup, you’re gorgeous just the way you are, babe ;D Heh heh heh! And without makeup… jealous!!! >.<"

    I hope all has been well, love. xx

  • Liz

    That’so true, I find it really hard to find new friends and if I meet someone new it will take a long time to get along with them. I experience some bullying in my high school from a classmate and my ex-best friend the only thing I could do is go to a friend and talk about my problem.
    In the end it work out found new friends that I could trust ^^.

    • melludee

      Ahhh. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve experienced bullying and such before :( ! I’m glad that it’s worked out in the end however ! <33

  • I completely agree. However, I am one the most judgemental people I know. I’m somewhat of a hypocrite, because I think a person’s appearance tells me a lot about them. But I also do get to know the person better before deciding whether he/she and I can be good friends. The person does not need to like the same things I like, dress the same way I do, or act the same way, for me to like them! But I’ve never spread any rumors about anybody, or believed in any rumors people tell me. I know people talk about me too, and I know it’s just bullshit.

    If people don’t take the time to get to know you before jumping to conclusions, then they are not worth the time.

    Great post, as usual!

    Love,
    mimi

    • melludee

      Ahh, I totally understand how you feel !
      I find it easy to judge people, and I can probably choose not to sit next to one person rather than another based on their looks. But I think what matters the most is how you deal with that judgement. Like, I absolutely can’t stand people who take that judgement and make it in to rumours or hate or what not. But eesh, I hope the people who do say stuff about you stop cos you’re an awesome personn *___* ! <3

  • KT

    You know, this is something that crosses my mind often. Especially working in customer service and seeing so many different people each day. You absolutely cannot judge someone just by looking at them. You might go up to someone and think “Oh this person is going to be trouble”, and they might just be the most pleasant person you’ll encounter that day. I always try to keep an open mind and give people a chance. What if someone you meet and immediately think bad thoughts ends up becoming a close friend? How awful would you or that person feel knowing that was your very first thoughts of that person?

    I remember something my boyfriend told me that his boss was talking about… it really made me think because it’s something I try to apply at work.

    “You can hate the way a person does something, but you can’t hate the person doing it”. It really made me think… I know, totally unrelated, but it did remind me of that… I think there’s just too much hate and it’s so easy to react that way before stopping and thinking. I guess that’s why people form immediate opinions of people because it’s easier to pick and choose who you want to get to know, even though you might be missing out on someone who can have a great impact on your life, you know?

    • melludee

      Ahh thank you for the comment <3 !
      I absolutely agree with ! Mmm. I guess it’s so easy for people to judge for no reason nowdays based on their opinions, media and what not. The society we live in makes us stereotype people easily and hence judge based on that :/ It’s really stupid and urgh but there are just so many people like that in the world. And I wish there would just be less hate ;___; ! In any case, I really like that quote thingie. It makes sense. :/ Eesh. A lot of these narrow minded people will end up not meeting some of the most fantastic people anyway ! Imagine the people that laughed at Einstein or Bill Gates !

  • rob

    I stumbled upon your site a few weeks ago somehow from a K-pop related site. If you don’t mind I have a couple of things to say about your post.

    1. Your blog is obviously not just about makeup in fact if it were I probably wouldn’t read it as I have little to no use for makeup (I have a beard that would get in the way). The reason I have read much of your blog is that you have a lot of other stories to tell that are interesting especially for people who don’t live in Australia like me. Even though US and Australian culture are somewhat similar (not as different as say US vs. Tibet) it is different enough that it’s interesting to hear about what it’s like to be in “Uni” (we usually just say “college” here in the states) in Australia coming from a family with an Asian background (who now are obviously Australian more than anything). The food reviews, shopping, music, cosplay, and various social interactions are all very interesting because they are just ever so slightly different than what I have experienced where I live… so therefore they are very entertaining and informative.

    2. Just because you like makeup doesn’t mean you are necessarily shallow or whatever your detractors might say. My girlfriend doesn’t always wear makeup but when she does I like it and I think she enjoys it too. Nothing wrong with that IMHO.

    3. Judging is just part of human nature. If you believe in evolution then I think you have to accept that there is probably a good reason for Judgment to be a component of the evolution of mankind. People will always judge things and for the most part that is a good thing. Of course we don’t like being judged ourselves but this is a reality that will probably always be so my take on it is just roll with it and don’t worry too much about it. If a person judges you for what you wear etc. that’s fine but you also get a lot of info about the person who made the judgement which may be to your advantage. Again I wouldn’t worry too much about it because you probably wouldn’t like hanging out with the person making these negative judgments about you anyway (judgment works both ways).

    4. Compared to you I guess I’m an old guy so let me give you some advice about these kinds of people who are giving you a hard time from my “old guy” perspective. In 10 years you probably won’t even remember them or the event so don’t waste your time or emotions worrying, addressing, or even fighting with/about them. They are probably jealous, insecure, or just messed up but in the end it’s not worth your time even trying to figure that out. Just ignore them and keep on going. Anytime you spend time fighting it is just a waste and is probably giving the other person just what they want which is attention. “Life is Too $hort” (as the song says) and trust me in the long run it won’t even register in your memory of life.

    With all that said I would encourage you to keep on writing about all kinds of stuff! The makeup stuff I just kinda gloss over just because it’s not really my interest but nothing wrong with it. Always interested to see more stuff on life in your part of the world and what y’all do “down under” wether that be cosplay, going out to eat, or hunting crocodiles (you know all Americans think you all carry big knives and have to battle crocodiles just to get across town j/k).

    • melludee

      Ah firstly, thank you for your long response!
      I absolutely love it when readers leave long comments with their thoughts in it.

      Now, thank you heaps for your advice. I understand that it’s human nature to judge and such; I think it’s just the fact that these people were close friends at some point of time that it irks me slightly. I know that I probably won’t be thinking about this 10 years down, so I really shouldn’t think about it too much now aha. And ahhh! I wonder, is the lifestyle really different from America? I wouldn’t be surprised if there were quite a lot of similarities as I find that Australia tends to love copy America in terms of TV Shows and etc >.>” ! But anyway, thank you for the comment again! I will be sure to continue blogging about how it is down under xD (I shall be going to hunt some crocs now mate // lol worst Aussie accent // altho tbh I haven’t seen a croc in real life … :|)

  • i love the last paragraph. you’re so right. even if you hate someone you shouldn’t spread some specific rumours/false judgement about them around. by doing this hurts no one and you might change your mind about them after getting to know them more.

    btw i love your tights! :)

    oh also, why do you put so many colors in your post? some people don’t like it and might straight away close your blog when they open it… (i mean you might lose some visitors/readers. just so you know.)

    sydsense.blogpsot.com

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