Style: Dress for YOURSELF

Warning: Long Post + Lots of Old Photos.
After going through some old photos, I’ve noticed that my style has changed quite a lot over the years. So, after thinking, I’ve realised that I’m dressing differently for the sake of others.
(Photo taken in Year 11 – 2008)
I’ve always been told that I dress too “emo” or I wear too much black. (Hi Will!)
Although I agree that I should try add more colours in to my outfits other than well …red. But it always annoyed me when people complained I looked too emo. I mean, I don’t see a problem in wearing that kind of style? Does it matter that when I was at that age, I wanted to try out being “emo? Or try wearing eye liner for the first time?
(Left: Year 10 – 2007. Everything else: Year 11 – 2008)
And that’s what I’m trying to get at. In my own personal opinion; it does not matter how you dress like at all. (Unless we’re talking about walking in the snow in just a bikini..) I believe you should dress however you want, even if people call you “weird”. But, I’ve realised that after starting Uni, I’ve started dressing down a lot because I didn’t want to stand out or look different from everyone else.
(With Linh; Year 11 – 2008    *Tam, here is your Muzza hair cut photo!*)
I know it’s easy to judge someone based on the way they dress or the way they look. But, before judging someone, you should ask yourself if that’s how you would like to be “labelled“. Just because I wear a corset, does not make me sad/emo. And just because I wear bows in my head, does not make me “tb” or “childish”.
(Year 11 – 2008, Year 12 – 2009,  Year 11 – this was for a photo shoot – 2008)
However, sometimes it’s really hard. When you’ve got your family and some of your friends telling you that “you’re dressing too emo” or that “no one wears bows in university.” (quoted by a family member) Your self esteem goes a little down, and you start to believe them. You start to believe that you can’t look how you want, and that the way you want to look is abnormal and that you’re weird to want to look that way.
(Guitar Photo: Year 10 – 2007 ; B&W Scarf + Long Fringe: Year 11 – 2008 ; Everything else: Year 12 – 2009)
And conforming to the rest of society is fine if you find yourself happier that way. But if you don’t, then don’t follow it. If you want to wear thigh high leather lace up boots, do it. If you want to dye your hair green, then do it. (If you’re under 18, with parental permission of course) Don’t let anyone tell you who you can and can’t be; because you are your own person. And no one has the right to tell you how to live your life. (Although, this is not saying you have every right to steal or to do anything against the law!)
(Year 11 – 2008 ; My Birthday Party ♥)
The point of this blog post was to tell each reader that you don’t need to please anyone. You are the way you are.
ALWAYS DRESS FOR YOURSELF.
I’ve realised this myself, and I’m going to stop dressing the way people want me to. In saying that, I should probably clean my cupboard :)
♥ ♥ ♥
I know this a really long post, but I wanted to get my message across.
Has anyone ever told you off for dressing / looking different?
And how did you respond with it?

46 comments to Style: Dress for YOURSELF

  • Exuvalia

    Good post, Melody. I think you still look the same. Very pretty. Anyway, I've been told off for dressing the way that I want to dress.

    As you know, I'm into the whole Japanese fashion. And that involves fake eyelashes, poofy hair with curls, makeup, circle lenses, ruffles, bows, floral, lace..etc. So when I had a bow in my hair once, I was told that I should grow up because I'm too 'childish'. Because of that, I've stopped wearing any accessories in my hair. And I'm scared of wearing fake eyelashes in public. Also, I'm not planning to go too far with the whole Japanese fashion.

    I'm just too scared about being judged by others. D:

  • Vu

    I don't really think you looked 'too emo', and even if you did, I don't really see anything wrong with it. I think those people were too judgmental, and if I knew any of them; I'd give them a piece of my mind right now. With all of that said, I completely agree that you shouldn't let the opinions of others heavily, or at all, effect the way you look. As long as you don't dress something inappropriate, of course. xD

    I can't remember on the top of my head right now if anyone's told me off for dressing or looking different. I used to dress how I wanted, and that meant wear whatever I spotted first in my wardrobe. I think I dress a bit better these days, I like to think I can look nice for you. >:D

    P.S – I think you looked hot in those h.s photos of yours. :P

  • amanda

    yaysss. i support: dressing for yourself!

    i don't think i have been ever told to dress differently. which does reflect when i look at my old pics and see some one the SUPER weird and ugly things I've worn. HAHA

  • Suteisi ♥ ステイスィー

    I like this post. I think you're right. No one should feel obligated to dress a certain way or stop wearing a certain clothing item because of others.

    When I told my ex (bf at that time) that I wanted to try wearing color contacts, he told me "why you don't need that, it looks fake anyway". After he told me that, I didn't buy them. But now we're broken up, and I realize "Why didn't I buy them? Because of him? What about ME? I want to wear some!!"

  • h.tea

    Haha! I was almost always wearing high waist skirts at the end of year 12 and start of uni … and then I realised I was too dressy =\ Like, it's just uni … that and I hang out with guys … and they're always in tshirts and jeans LOLL and so I decided to tone it down a bit. I still feel kind of dressy around them but it's better than dressing as though I'm off to my part time job as a receptionist =P

    Noone has ever really told me off for the way I dress or have dressed. But I've regretted a lot of the outfits I've sported LOL XD I remember getting weird looks from girls (even my friends) when I tried something new/different. Like, I came to school in a floral dress (this was like three/four months before floral dresses were "in") and my friends gave me, kind of, "disapproving" looks and they were like, "Oh wow … that's really … floral …" they said it in a really negative kind of tone and I was just like "Er, k whateverrr" And you know, three/months later, they all picked up floral dresses and blouses and I just thought to myself, "Really? You need it to be a fad to like it?!" Urgh, so annoying!

    I'm glad that you dress for yourself =D It shows individuality =D

  • Jilliancat

    I'm super surprise that u used to like dark colours last time! :D

    Usually I just go "oh hahahaha really?" because I don't see any point backing myself up. Talking more sounds like I'm defending for smtg I've did wrong..

  • sourmay

    Lol, all the "melodies" I didn't knowwwww

    I used to dress weirdly… They were times that I don't want to look back in terms of fashion sense.

    Earlier last semester I was wearing many huge jumpers simply because of my fb. He said I look good.

    SO I DRESSED FOR HIM. Shot, I don't think I look good in those clothes much.

    But never mind, we should enjoy what we like!!!! *kicking fb away* :D

  • Mei

    You said you don't wear color!
    You do wear color silly >w<
    Great photo's~

  • kaizokumousy

    haha melody, I have same problem here.They keep saying I'm emo just because I love to wear black and pink all the time..and I wear eyeliner.

    btw I want to be friends with you on facebook too :) can we? whats your link please.please message me on my blog if you agree^^

    thnx

    mimi

  • Rocking Doll Museum / Diabetic Lolita

    Noone is really bothered by the way I dress, they usually like it! (Even old granny's! )

    Thank you ver much for the comment! Though the article is not mine, (only translated by me) I understand the principles, and therefore I can manage my glucose better. I don't know if your dad use the GI/GL as well?

  • P o o p e r

    Sorry I commented a bit late! I was working on math hw and going down the list of posts, woo! :D

    Aww Melody. ;_; You have always been so cute and you are still so cute! <333333

    I love how you dress now and how you use to dress back then ( I love love love love the outfit for your birthday party! Gaaah! *__* I also love the other outfits you've listed too!)

    I use to dress emo too, but it was rather plan-ish, as I was more of "wearing band tee's and walking around with skinny jeans" kind of emo. lol hehe
    EYELINER WAS LIKE MY BFF. Back in the day I wore a lot of it!
    I think you looked really awesome, people are just scared of the unknown … which is something different that they're not use to.

    Oh girly, returning back to not caring of what people would think sounds so nice! I understand what you mean when going to uni and everyone else is there so plain.
    I admit when walking through my college campus in creepers and other "weird" garments I would walk really fast and look at my cellphone the entire time to avoid looking at how people would stare at me. xD;

    Your message came across beautifully and like you missy, I too want to dress for myself rather then fearing of what others say. >.< You always create inspiring posts. <3

  • Naka

    nice post :) everyone should be their own ^^ its sucks when ppl label u before even getting to know u :(

    and yep my grandma is quite traditional and strict (but sweet) and was shocked when my mum let me wear tank tops in 35degrees c :/

  • chocolatesuze

    <3 this post! and ooh you play guitar?

  • Rebekah

    Oh gosh , your dressing was so cool in the past , you should try wearing that nowadays too ! I love lolita and punk outfits , super kawaii ♥

  • Ribbonlicious

    Heheee, love the second picture. You both look so cool! ^-^
    Everyone should dress by their own ^^v

  • petitechouxx

    a friend of my closest friend says to her that since i had a bf, i dress better o.O ummm… okay i don't think it's a compliment. I dress the same way like always o.O

    i start to dress for myself when i go to college. i decide what to wear. i want to be feel good in my skin and unique. =D

  • BHaV

    OMG i agree sooo much!
    I realised this during yr12 exams not with dressing, just in general with life, some of my school frnds (not you guys in particular) were maing me feel like shit and I wanted to live my life the way I want and I stopped giving a shit and did what I wanted, I mean who cares if you wear a poncho to school (A) or a skirt on a 10degree day when you really really wanted to! I've been told by heaps of people sometimes especially my mum of what i should wear or shouldn't and I tell her it's not affecting her in any way so she need not worry, and thanks for letting me know her opinion I'll keep it in mind! Cuz otherwise I would still have really long black hair and no extra piercings ie belly and ears… So I'm glad you've reached the conclusion cuz its very TRUE
    AND who says the emo look is bad?- It's totally sexy! and I love the way you dress all the time- as long as YOUR comfortable with it!

  • dwag0ns

    Every time I wear something lolita my friend, and the only guy, says I look weird and my reaction is nothing I don't care what he says I like to wear them.

    BUT my grandma she hates them O_O and my reaction is just step away.

    hehe I like the last photo =]

  • ipehishere

    waahh yes from ur pics around 07-08 ur style is bit emo ! its a cute emo tho ^^ and i love your hair on 08! very cute!
    i hate when ppl jugdes only by its cover/style too..!!
    ofcourse i love ppl confidence with their own style.. :)
    ohh i do have one friend who always complain with my habbit, because if i found a dress/clothes that i love, i ll wear it almost everyday until i get bored my self. coz i like to wear-wash-wear-wash-wear lol :D

  • Audrey (hkittygirl)

    I tried the whole emo/rock star thing too! I still tend to lean towards that look even now, when I've tried so hard to get rid of that part of me. In the end, I just wear anything I feel like, even if a nub says, "Hey, you own pink? Nice to know you're a girl!" Someone has seriously said that to me…-3-

  • xxkatielee

    Haha , I have a problem w/ the way I dress . I actually don`t dress up d: Sometimes I think I dress too down . This year I`ve had a "whatever/screw it" attitude for everything , including the way I dress . I wear baggy clothes (even my bro`s clothes sometimes) . I don`t dress like a tomboy because people can clearly tell I`m a girl . However , sometimes I think I don`t dress up enough , only because when I do dress up (meaning I didn`t do laundry) then people tend to notice A LOT and I get the whole , "awhh you look cute today ." So I don`t really know if I should keep dressing like a hobo bum , or if I should make myself look at least a LITTLE decent d:

  • William Y

    HI DEE! :D
    in regards to u dressing in black, i dont have a problem with it (provided its not full black, ill explain later), its just that it contrasts the way first think of u. ie. ur blog is colourful and the bright colours u used to wear.

    personally i think the colours ppl were reflects their current mood, and i know we all change our style over time, hell i changed alot :O in regards to dressing all black, i dont usually associate it to being emo, but its just look kinda dodgey to me, like ur dressing as a ninja and hiding in the shadows to jump someone D:

    Answer to ur Q: through out vce in frist yr uni, my sis has always bugged my for wearing dull colours and street style clothes (ie. baggy clothes while she was into taiwan/jap style). i responded by trying out new clothes slowly and i got to say, it has changed the way i dress, i go for a more smart casual now :O

    i guess i changed because im growing older Q.Q (more into business attire)…anyways i typed too much, could probs write a whole blog on it D:

    cya after exams and GANBATTE! YAY!

  • Monica L

    Inspiring post melody <3 :D
    Yea my aunty sometimes tells me to be more girly and stuff cause most of my clothes are boyish LOL. I guess I tried getting more girly clothes but when I wear it I feel weird or maybe I don't wear much girly things cause I'm self conscious about my body D:

  • Diana

    Great post. I feel like the way I dress is based on trends that have grown on me and after a while I just kinda get used to it. I also work in a very conservative office where suits are a must- not much of an option to change there, right? But I guess I'll live with it since it's the field I chose. I wish I dyed my hair blue when I was younger even if my mom said no. I still tell her this day that I regret it.

  • BuNnYLuverz

    i luv how you said always dress for yourself! ty! i always dress the way i want to. but recently im trying to dress to fit in with my friends and please them. they always say something about wat i wear like " those boots dont work.." =(

  • Tam

    Thank you for uploading the foto :) brings back alot of memory when I see that hairstyle. I hate being looked down when I'm wearing shorts by old people or wearing something youthful while shopping at David jones. I really want to dress my way but the looks I get is a drainer. *sigh*

  • Tam

    Thank you for uploading the foto :) brings back alot of memory when I see that hairstyle. I hate being looked down when I'm wearing shorts by old people or wearing something youthful while shopping at David jones. I really want to dress my way but the looks I get is a drainer. *sigh*

  • Ling Tung

    A long long time ago..when nail polishes were simple pinks and reds…I wore this blue nail polish and I was told that I was a bad influence on other people… And nowadays, it's the norm…sigh…

    Anyway, I dress for myself and no-one else =)

    And i love yr unique dress sense =)

  • jess

    very true! not 'dress to impress'! love all these photos of you- they're all so different! ps i still wear bows haha i think i have an eternal love for bows :P

  • Bibi

    You're so right hun, the only person who should care about what you're wearing is yourself. As long as you feel comfortable and happy, that's all that counts ^.^

    People did tell me I dressed oddly, when I was still in highschool. I wasn't that confident, and I usually wore dark colours because it made me feel safe. It hurt when people were saying things about the way I dressed.

    I still wear a lot of black and gray, but I guess the way people look at your clothes is influenced by how you feel, by the aura that's around you (wow I sound so spiritual all of a sudden). I feel a lot more confident now, and I guess it shows?

  • Xiao moon

    You're so right! People should wear what they like and not dress to impress or express.

    My parents would comment sometimes on my fashion but that didn't really influence me. I think friends influenced me way more, especially when shopping together. If I liked something that my friends didn't like, I wouldn't buy it, regretting it afterwards. I've learned that it doesn't matter what people, trends or magazines say, just wear what you like. If they dislike it, no problem, they don't have to wear it anyway.

  • HitomiNeko

    Hey there, cute blog and good message! A lot of times I do dress for other people but I still dress how I like. You are right if anyone is dressing up how "others" like it, then it's no good. ~~ <3

  • HitomiNeko

    Hey there, cute blog and good message! A lot of times I do dress for other people but I still dress how I like. You are right if anyone is dressing up how "others" like it, then it's no good. ~~ <3

  • Dolce♥Bunny

    absolutely love this post and totally full heartly agree with you! I too love to dress differently and change my style everytime and I do get criticized sometimes on how I dressed but I really don't care. Cuz I know that I don't act like that and my personality ain't going to change. I just enjoy FASHION! I really love your attitude!! Keep it up girl and sooner or later, people will look up to you!

    Cheers XD

  • HL

    hahaha i was just like you, dressing the way i wanted, and i always found myself very stylish but when i look back i just laugh, because it really looked weird xD but i think thats me, when i was in the past. It shows my personality and how it changed during the years. A life which is always monotone is boring and not exciting at all. Looking on the pictures of the past is hilarious and brings back memories of the everydaylife back then.

    yeah the etude house eyeliner is very good ^^ because it doesnt smudge, but in my opinion a little bit too expensive (about 6€). I just bought one for 95 cent on ebay. ~~ sh..

  • Min

    Hey Mel I think you look great in your so called emo outfits. I don't think they're emo at all though! I think you really suit that style – not everyone can bring out that look ;) And besides, you're right. We shouldn't care what people think about how we dress.

    But I've always been told off by my parents for dressing up/down for school or uni. If I were flipflops to uni, they'll think it's inappropriate (this I understand). But if I dress up, they'll think I'm going to a fashion show o.O But lately they're more open so I guess it's a good thing!

    I really love this post Melody. It gave me that little "courage-push" in the back <3 arigatouuuu

  • Rinny

    Great post! I agree, you should dress for yourself, not for others :)

  • Silkybow

    lol i use to get it from some people because they say I dress too out there since Aussies normally just dress … normal?
    But I kept wearing the clothes I like and now they appreciate it as well :)!

  • TheMadTwins

    you changed your style a lot indeed :) but I like that ^_^ wearing the same style always is getting borred, so I always change =P
    I love your hair cuts too ^_^ It's suites you wel =)
    and I also hate it when people say you dress to emo O_O
    grrr.. X3
    And the wings on the last pictures are cuuutteee ^__^:)

    xxx

  • P o o p e r

    Girl I miss your posts! ;_; Can't wait for your exams to be overrr.

  • ☆(´∀`)李兔子RabbitoBonbon☆

    Great post! I don't care about what people say about me or my dress. Most of people in my school call me "childish", "pampered child" etc because they said I dress like a primary school kid!

    Geez! Is "Micky mouse tee" considered as childish?!?! (=.=;;) But I don't mind and I don't care because…

    I JUST DON'T CARE! Hahahaha! XDXD

  • ZTAR

    Like your blog :) cute design and so are you. Come and visit my blog sometime. I´m korean but, living a swedish life =) // Xoxo http://twinkleztar.blogspot.com

  • Shoe Splurge

    Good to know people dress for themselves. You keep doing your thing :)

    http://shoesplurge.blogspot.com

  • mennni

    oh, you look so cute! :) i really like your blog. I would be happy if u'll check my blog

    menni-isabel.blogspot.com

    xoxo
    Menni Isabel

  • Jessica Mac

    your style is pretty hardcore. i like it :)

    http://coffeebeansandcigarettes.blogspot.com/

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