Hi! I’ve been meaning to post about our experience at Kyma for awhile now, so here goes!
I’m a huge fan of Scoopon and Groupon, so when Ashley asked me to get a 10 Course Greek Mezze Feast in St Kilda, I was more than happy to! We eat Greek food quite often at various places, so we were excited to try this fairly highly rated Urbanspoon restaurant. Now, I’ve had various experiences with dining on a voucher – most have been pretty great but there have been a couple that were disappointing. However, this was probably the worst dining experience that I’ve had.
I’m uncertain whether this review would’ve been more positive if we had visited not on a voucher (probably not), but I don’t think that should matter either way. If you’re going to offer a deal on Groupon/Scoopon, then you shouldn’t treat your customers any different whether they’re dining on a voucher or are a regular full paying customer.
So firstly, I tried to book a table for dinner approximately 2-3 weeks before the voucher expired.
The lady who picked up was extremely rude and told me that they were booked out for weeks, and only had limited space on weekdays. She also decided to tell me that it was my fault for not booking way earlier :/ Um…okay. Rude but okay…. Disheartened, I said I’d have to check my schedule and call back. With work and uni clashes, Ashley and I had to try to figure a date we’d both be free for this damn $49 meal. The second time around, Ashley called them on a Wednesday and I have no idea who picked up but he got an easy booking for that night – no questions asked.
What the hell happened to being booked out for ages?! Ugh. Whatever…
Course 1: Taramosalata (cavier) dip with warm pita bread
We arrived to dinner on time… to an empty restaurant – no waitress in sight?
We walked in a bit further to see if we could locate someone, only for a chef to emerge and tell us rudely to just wait. A dark haired waitress popped up not too long after and showed us to our seats before disappearing again??? Apparently a couple of customers had showed up so she went over to serve them for awhile. Since we were on a Scoopon, we didn’t have the option to change or choose anything on the menu so I guess it was fine that she didn’t entertain us. Except, we were really after some drinks. We tried to get her attention a few times whilst she entertained other customers. She seemed to be the only waitress, so we waited and waited until she finally took our drink orders.
Not too long after our drinks came out, followed by a rush of 3 plates of food! Woahwee.
Course 2: Grilled saganaki (goat cheese)
Course 3,4,5: Greek style fried calamari, Prawn cutlet skewers and Scallop Skewers
We were suddenly worried that all 10 of courses would pop out one after another, and that we wouldn’t have time to enjoy each of them! But luckily, she was too busy with a large group of people trying to celebrate someone’s birthday.
The pita bread was absolutely delicious. It had a nice drizzle of olive oil on it which most places don’t usually do, and we were both really happy with it. The taramosalata (cavier) dip that came with it was extremely sour and just wasn’t as good. I’ve had pretty amazing cavier dips before so this was a little disappointing :( Still tankable though!
Now, I’ve never really enjoyed Saganaki (grilled goat cheese) but Ashley absolutely loves it. His opinion on it was that it was fairly average – nothing he would say was extremely delicious but still good enough for him to eat.
Now thirdly, the “seafood plate”, which if you look at the Scoopon Deal counts for 3 different courses – greek styled fried calamari, prawn cutlet skewers and scallop skewers. There was octopus on the plate too!! even though it wasn’t written on their deal. It was deep fried octopus too, which I enjoy :D The seafood was alright, but I’m not going to lie – it wasn’t any better than what I’ve bought from our local Fish & Chip shop in the past before haha.
I should mention that at this point, we’ve been silently watching the waitress hurry around to try serve 2-3 different tables scattered around their fairly large restaurant. Whilst comical, it didn’t seem very professional for her to be running up and down serving everyone haha. Anyway, quite an amount of time has passed since we’ve had our first few dishes. We’re actually kind of getting a little bored, hence the two random photos of us just above hehe.
About 40 minutes passed, and our main courses started arriving one by one! Woohoo.
By now, Ashley was excited as meat is kind of his thing and he can get quite particular about how they’re cooked.
Course 6, 7, 8: Lamb Skewers, Chicken Skewers, Scotch Lean Pork Skewers,
The meat…..was cold. This is probably one of the most annoying things you can receive at a restaurant >:I
Considering we waited quite awhile for this, we were hoping that it was being freshly cooked but… I guess not. From our observations, it seemed that there was only one cook and one waitress. Now the only assumption we can make is that, our food was not served immediately after being cooked, hence it becoming cold. Mmm. Other than it being cold, the meat was fairly average tasting except the pork. The pork had the weirdest after taste and we were unable to eat it at all lol.
Note: Having any sort of meat on top of cold tzatziki isn’t a good idea…
Course 9: Horiatikies Patates Tiyanites (fried home-made chunky chips)
Course 10: Horiatiki salata (old style Greek village salad)
The home-made chunky chips were fairly okay. It might just be personal preference, but they needed to be salted a lot more, plus cooked for slightly longer. But that’s just our personal preference maybe.
Okay. I normally LOVEEEEE Greek Salad – actually we both do. Since Ashley is the bigger meat eater, I tend to eat more of the salad than the meat but omg. This was the FIRST TIME we have never finished a Greek salad urgh. So, what was so wrong about this salad? It tasted like FRIDGE. I understand that you might need to refrigerate your vegetables prior to serving, but these literally had that ‘been in the fridge for too long and not fresh anymore’ taste. It was damn cold and just yuck yuck yuck. The feta cheese was SO HARD that I couldn’t even crumble it for awhile. So upset.
ANYWAY. It took awhile for the mains to be cleared off the table, but that’s prob because we didn’t eat much of it..
So, this is probably one of the most ridiculous bits about the night. We waited an HOUR for tour dessert. One whole hour lol. We were only served the dessert plate when the group of approx 10 people left the restaurant, which err… I guess is understandable since they only had one waitress haha. During this point, Ashley and I were so bored we started looking up ‘Cryptids’ for ages lol. That kept us entertained for awhile :P I should mention that Ashley went to the bathroom and overheard an argument the waitress and cook were having in the kitchen about some ‘badly cooked food’. Hmm
Course 11: Traditional dessert platter (Hey! They can’t count! It’s 11 haha)
So, when an hour had ticked passed, we FINALLY received the plate of dessert (which by the way were all warmed up in a microwave so I have no idea what took so long for them to bring it out lol). Overall, the dessert was alright. The apple pastry and baklava were sweet and enjoyable. That square in the back was ??? It tasted like rice pudding but was okay. The strawberry sauce was nice but felt a little unnecessary, but I still tried it with everything either way :P
At this point of the night, there are only two tables left. Our table, and a table that came in probably 30 minutes ago.
Let that sink in. When we arrived, there was no one in the restaurant and yet we are somehow still there, despite there being a large group of people who arrived after us hmmmm. Anyway, the waitress seems to have calmed down a bit and has stopped running all over the restaurant. She’s even in the kitchen washing the dishes now!! Understaffed much? After washing some dishes, we watch her saunter over to the only other table being occupied by a middle aged couple, where she congratulates them for choosing a seafood dish as they make the best seafood in all of Melbourne. Um. Pretty big claim to make considering how our seafood tasted hmmm lol. I must mention that overhearing this conversation was probably the most we’ve heard her speak since we didn’t get the pleasure of any conversation until…
We went to pay for the 2 cokes that we ordered at the start of the night…
Of course she doesn’t forget about our additional purchases!! Anyway, whilst she’s counting our change, she smiles and proudly tells me that I made the “good decision” of buying the Kyma scoopon. I nearly laughed.
Will not return/10